|Season 1, episode 10|
|The family visits their old housekeeper|
November 28, 2005
Guilt Trip is the tenth episode of Out of Practice.
Ben comes into the kitchen wishing Oliver a good morning. Oliver asks if Ben notices anything different. Ben thinks that it's that Oliver trimmed his eyebrows and reminds him to rinse out the sink next time, but Oliver actually meant the new coffeemaker he bought. He's attempting to save money by making his coffee at home every day. The machine itself was very expensive. Oliver threw Ben's coffeemaker away. Ben says that coffeemaker saw him through a lot. If it could talk ... Just then, Oliver's new coffeemaker announces that grinding is complete. Ben wonders what he's supposed to make coffee with once Oliver has moved out.
As Ben gets the paper, he sees Crystal walking up to Stewart's and says he should say hi. Oliver tries to stop him, but he does it anyway. He motions her over and she says it's not easy going up nine flights of stairs with these melons weighing her down, meaning the melons she bought at the store. Ben invites her to take a break and have a cup of coffee. She takes the offer and tells them she's been working on her poetry class assignment. They're supposed to write about the first time they experience true love, but she can't rhyme Trans Am. She already used wham and bam. She then offers to make Ben and Oliver breakfast. She goes into the kitchen and Oliver's upset that they have to make small talk over breakfast. Oliver's uncomfortable because he put in her breast implants and she also turned him down when he asked her out. Ben asks if Stewart knows that he once asked Crystal out. He doesn't and Oliver would like it to stay that way. He tells Ben to keep his mouth shut.
The doorbell rings and it's Lydia with Monty. Stewart's not home, so she wants to leave Monty with them. She's glad that she doesn't have to deal with Crystal. They try to usher Lydia out the door, but she needs to catch her breath after taking the stairs. She says she doesn't like that Crystal treats Monty like he's hers. She thinks Crystal's trying to make Monty forget who his mommy is. Just then Crystal comes out of the kitchen, saying breakfast is almost ready. They're shocked to see each other. Oliver weakly says he loves Lydia.
Oliver and Ben are carrying groceries home. Oliver's upset because at the grocery store, he was talking to a woman when Ben came up, dropped some avocados into the cart, and talked about the frittata he was going to make Oliver. Ben says he won't make it now. Just as the elevator starts to close, Stewart calls out, asking them to hold it. He says it meant a lot to Crystal that they invited her in for breakfast. They want to take Ben and Oliver out for dinner that night to thank them. Oliver tries to say no, but Ben accepts. He says they'll pick them up at six so they can go to Crystal's poetry reading first. Oliver's upset, but Ben says it serves him right since he told Lydia that Ben asked Crystal in.
They enter the apartment, shocked that Lydia is in there waiting for them. She came by to pick up a cake plate she loaned them. She's making a cake for Maria, their old housekeeper. It's her 80th birthday tomorrow. She asks if they're free to drive up with her tonight, but they lie and say they're going to a friend's surprise party. She leaves, saying it's fine, but to give Maria a call on her birthday because she did so much for their family. She guilts them into it. Ben tries to apologize about Crystal, but she says to let it go because she has. Oliver says he should have known better than to give Lydia a key. If he'd known Ben was like this, he never would have moved in with him. Just as he says that, a beautiful woman comes down the stairs and hears it.
Stewart is recording Crystal as the enter the restaurant. They talk about Crystal's poetry reading and she apologizes for the two drink minimum, which Regina assures her wasn't a problem. She's having another poetry reading and they all make excuses not to come. Stewart says he'll get them a DVD. Crystal then remembers to ask Oliver about her follow-up for her breast implants. It's been six months, which is the same amount of time Stewart's had his video camera. Stewart rushes them away to pick out a lobster. Crystal says it's hard for her and Stewart reminds her not to name them.
Ben's concerned that Oliver and Stewart need to talk about what happened with Crystal. Crystal and Stewart come back and she says the lobsters make her so sad because they seem like old souls. Stewart toasts Crystal. They then spot Lydia coming into the restaurant. She's surprised to see them as they are her. Ben invites her to join them. She says she's got her takeout and she's going to drive to see Maria in the morning instead. Ben offers to go with her and they all agree to go, including Stewart.
Ben, Lydia, and Regina are driving together and Regina complains about how slowly Ben is driving. Ben says he and Lydia lost the coin toss, which is why she's riding up with them. Regina says it puts them in a bad position, because either way, one of their parents will be mad at them, no matter how they treat Crystal. Lydia says he could speed up and Regina says they just got passed by a truck pulling a house. They hear a thump. They have a flat tire. Lydia tells Regina to hop out and change it and Regina's offended that they've asked the lesbian. Lydia asks if she knows how and she says that's not the point. Ben's offended that they don't think he knows how to change it. Lydia then remembers that she took out the spare so that Maria's cake would fit better.
Stewart and Oliver are in Stewart's car. Oliver can see the road through the bottom of the car. Stewart start to drift, scaring Oliver. Oliver brings up Crystal and they talk about the follow-up visit. Oliver's phone rings. It's the others, telling him about the tire.
They have all piled into Stewart's car. He says he's restoring it, but it's a piece of junk. Ben reveals that Oliver asked Crystal out, not knowing that Oliver didn't tell her. Stewart's upset about it. Just then, it starts to rain and it leaks through the roof. Lydia asks what part of the car he restored. He says the horn, which he did himself. He tests it out and it continuously honks, even when he's not pressing it.
They arrive at the retirement home, all of them wet. Lydia's limping because she lost her shoe. They enter Maria's room, where she's sleeping. They're worried for a moment that she's dead, but she's not. They agree to wake her up, but Lydia wants to set the cake up first. The cake's been ruined by the trip, though. Stewart talks more about the Crystal situation because he's still upset. Lydia points out that all three of Stewart's children want to sleep with his girlfriend. Stewart excuses himself to get some air. He opens the window and they can still hear the horn honking. He says he has either a blue or a green wire to cut and leaves. Lydia leaves to find a place to sit down.
Regina finds Lydia in the hallway eating the cake. They talk about Crystal, a problem that Regina says won't just go away. Lydia says she knows she's been silly. It bothers her that it bothers her. She doesn't want to be this person. She's a highly-qualified surgeon and a really terrible baker. Regina says her cake is moist, but Lydia says that's the rain.
Ben and Oliver are arguing about the events of the last few days. Oliver blames Ben for all of it because he invited Crystal in. Oliver says Ben needs to learn to say no, but Ben says he knows how. Oliver says they should drop it and asks Ben to get a cup of coffee. When he says yes, Oliver uses it as proof that he can't say no. Oliver leaves, leaving Ben alone with Maria and her roommate, Doris. Doris asks Ben to rub her feet. He doesn't want to and says an orderly will come by any moment. Inspired by Oliver, he says no, but says he'll call an orderly. He presses a button and she says not that button. An alarm rings and she thinks they'll give her the paddles. And orderly comes in, followed by Ben's family. Ben says she's fine. He pressed a button. He tries to explain, but it looks bad because he wouldn't rub an old woman's feet. The commotion wakes up Maria, who is also mad at Ben.
Ben, Oliver, and Regina are on the couch. They don't know how long this'll take. Stewart comes in with popcorn. He presses play. It's Crystal's poetry reading. They watch in boredom while Stewart is enraptured.
- Christopher Gorham as Ben Barnes
- Paula Marshall as Regina Barnes
- Ty Burrell as Oliver Barnes
- Jennifer Tilly as Crystal
- Henry Winkler as Stewart Barnes
- Stockard Channing as Lydia Barnes
Notes and TriviaEdit
- This episode was produced as the sixth episode, but aired as the tenth.
A complete overview of this episode's crew can be found here.
|Out of Practice Episodes|
|#02||"We Wanna Hold Your Hand"||#10||"Guilt Trip"||#18||"Losing Patients"|
|#03||"And I'll Cry If I Want To"||#11||"New Year's Eve"||#19||"Doctors Without Bidders"|
|#04||"The Truth About Nerds & Dogs"||#12||"Yours, Mine or His?"||#20||"If These Floors Could Talk"|
|#05||"Brothers Grim"||#13||"Model Behavior"||#21||"The Lady Doth Protest Too Much"|
|#06||"The Heartbreak Kid"||#14||"Hot Water"||#22||"Breaking Up Is Hard to Do. And Do. And..."|
|#07||"Key Ingredients"||#15||"You Win Some, You Use Some"|
|#08||"The Wedding"||#16||"Doctor of the Year"|
|Out of Practice Episodes|